Anulom Vilom breathwork has been a transformative practice for me, unexpectedly bringing suppressed emotions to the surface.
I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time (that’s a whole other story), but after years of feeling stuck, I finally decided to make some real changes in my life.
I quit smoking — it’s been more than a year now. I started eating only home-cooked food, avoiding oil, and cutting down on sugar and salt. I walk more because it makes me happy.
I’ve been writing more (can I call myself a writer now?), and I’m thinking about joining yoga classes and getting into meditation.
One thing I’ve already added to my routine is Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing ) for 10 minutes before sleep. I started it hoping for some inner peace, or at the very least, better sleep.
But instead of feeling relaxed, I started feeling… weird.
Not the “calm and peaceful” weird. More like heavy, anxious, negative weird.
Out of nowhere, I’d feel sad, angry, or just off for no reason. It felt negative. My head felt heavy.
While doing it, my mind would go in a completely different direction, bringing up thoughts I hadn’t visited in years. Random people, conversations from 10 years ago, and childhood memories I had forgotten just flooding in.
So, I did what we all do — I Googled it.
Turns out that breathwork and meditation can bring out suppressed emotions.
Great. I wanted peace, and instead, I unlocked emotional baggage I didn’t even know I was carrying.
But here’s what I learned: When these thoughts surface, you don’t have to judge them. You just acknowledge them and let them go.
That’s how the mind cleans itself.
I’m not someone who openly expresses emotions. I keep things to myself, handle life internally, and act like everything is fine even when it’s not. But this whole experience got me thinking — what do we actually do with suppressed emotions? Because clearly, ignoring them isn’t working.
So, I didn’t stop. I continued doing Anulom Vilom every night before bed.
And now?
I don’t feel weird or negative anymore. I let the thoughts come, I let them go, and I don’t hold onto them. I don’t fight them; I just observe them. And because of that, I think it’s actually working.
I’m more focused on my writing — something I used to do secretly, but now, I share it openly.
My breath feels deeper. I can breathe fully into my stomach, and when I do, it feels incredibly relaxing.
And something interesting happened — I stopped remembering my dreams.
Before this, I used to have terrible dreams. Now, I rarely remember them. I think that’s a good sign. Maybe my mind is finally getting some real rest.
Although I still struggle to sleep early (thanks to my messed-up routine), I’m working on it. Maybe if I start doing yoga and meditation in the morning, it’ll help me fix my sleep schedule, and I won’t have to struggle so much at night.
Right now, I’m only doing Anulom Vilom, but I want to dive deeper into meditation and try more Pranayama techniques.
I hope I actually do all the things I say I will because I’ve had enough.
I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I do know one thing — I’m done running from myself.
For years, I carried the weight of emotions I had never dealt with. I ignored them, buried them, and distracted myself.
But now? I sit with them. I let them rise. I let them pass.
I will change.
Because I’m not just hoping for peace — I’m creating it.
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